Steps to disciplining yourself before you discipline your child.

I have an 18m old son who test my patience daily. He throws toys that hit me in the face, tries to bite my feet, breaks things, whines and throws tantrums when he doesn’t get what he wants. He touches things that I don’t want him touching and tries to take things that I am using right from my hands. These actions are constantly causing me to affirm things to him.

I recently noticed how many times I tell him…

Stop, don’t touch that.
No, you can’t have that.
No, that’s mine.
Stop it. That is not yours.
Stop, stop, STOP.
No, no and more no’s.

I began to think deeper into what these constant commands and disciplinary words would do to him later on in his life. I asked myself, “Did constantly being told no and I couldn’t do something effect me later on in life?”

Well…

YES. YES IT DID.

I still till this day here the editor of my life inside of me saying, “No, you can’t have that, do that or accomplish that.” I have subconscious limiting beliefs that have built up inside of me simply from always being told “NO” as a child.

No, you can’t play with that.
You can’t just do whatever you want.
You can’t sit there.
Don’t leave that there.
Don’t put that there.
Don’t touch that.

But then as I got older this crazy thing began to happen…

I was told NOT to say, “I can’t do this, or I can’t do that,”

HOW ASS BACKWARD IS THIS???

The same teachers telling me NOT to tell myself I can’t do something are the exact same people who TAUGHT ME TO BELIEVE THAT I CAN’T.

Don’t say you can’t do it.
Stop saying can’t.

There was even a sign in my classroom with a giant circle slashed through a sign reading “I can’t.”

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So now they expect all this conditioning inside of me to just stop. They expected me to believe I can do anything after years of being told, “I can’t.”

Funny how this works isn’t it?

This new found knowledge is incredibly life changing.

Think about this…

Most of the reasons we don’t believe we can do or have something is embedded into our subconscious at an early age. As children we are taught to be obedient and follow the rules, even while coloring we are taught to stay inside the lines. 

BUT THEN when we are grown we are asked, why we don’t THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX!!!???

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CHILD

vs.

ADULT

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How contradicting is this? It is not wonder we struggle as adults.

I want to tell you this.

Read this carefully

The truth is…

YOU CAN DO IT.

YOU CAN HAVE IT.

YOU CAN ACHIEVE IT.

Whether or not you believe it yet is a conditioning of your mind. All you need to do to achieve getting what you want is take the necessary steps to getting it. I also recommend patience while trying to accomplish a BIG goal. The time that is needed is always depended upon the amount of steps you’ll need to take in getting there.

For example,

You want to take a shower? Get up and get in the shower.

You want a coffee from Dunkin’ Donuts, for most people this is easily achievable just get in the car and go. You may be presented with a few obstacles but it is with in the realm of possibilities.

These goals seems much more obtainable than say…

You are wanting to go on a vacation? Most of us have to save money, get time off from work, find a destination, plan the trip, book a flight and get on an airplane.

You want to start a business? You have to have a niche, a market for the product or service, a business plan, funds to back you and depending on the business you’ll need much more.

This is not impossible to do. People do it all around us everywhere!! Its is simply a matter of believing you can achieve this goal.

*obviously there are exceptions to these examples

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The point I want to make here is that the things we want in life are absolutely possible but TIME AND PATIENCE are necessary for the goal to be obtained.

And the most important of all…

YOU HAVE TO HAVE THE RIGHT MINDSET.

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Restructure your mind. Strip it of its doubts, the I can’t do this and the belief that you can’t have things you desire.

Constantly doubting yourself or allowing obstacles to get in your way will only slow you down. The first step to achieving a goal is believing that it is your realm of (mental) possibilities.

Begin to analyze your thoughts. Ask yourself if there is anything you believe that no longer serves you. Thoughts of not being capable, not having enough, not knowing how and all the I CAN’T thoughts that were once told to you.

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I have changed my own thinking and restructured my beliefs. I continue daily to break down habits of thinking and build new ones. I also have changed the way I speak to my son. I tell him, “Let’s put that down and play with something different vs. no don’t touch that and no you can’t have that.”

Teaching my son, Cash, in a new way has taught me to think in a new way. Naturally, there are times where the response is a clear and solid ”NO,” for his own safety but I believe less negative affirmations will allow him to grow up believing he CAN have, do and be more than he could being filled with, STOP IT. YOU CAN’T HAVE THAT and NO, DO IT THIS WAY.”

.

.

.

So now it’s your turn, you’re not a child anymore.

Discipline yourself and believe what I have told you here to be true. 

YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU DESIRE.

All you have to do is

THINK…

I CAN. 

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